F.A.Q.

Here are all of the questions you wanted to know the answer to but never thought to ask.  Want to ask a question? Click here. I’ll totally add your question to the F.A.Q. once I address it.

You are totally awesome. What’s that all about?

It’s funny you should ask. As it turns out, what’s considered goofy or nerdy in elementary school, junior high, and high school, somehow becomes totally awesome afterwards. So after about 18 years of being a goof, I somehow transitioned into awesomeness without changing anything at all. The moral of the story is that if you are what people might consider a nerd or geek, keep at it. Don’t try to change for the losers who wont be around a few years from now. Just keep working on your awesome.

Can I borrow some money?

No. No you can’t. Next question.

Your website is totally legit. How did you come up with such an amazing design?

The truth is that I didn’t come up with it at all. I found a web designer that made totally amazing websites, and mimicked her work. Hopefully she doesn’t hate me too much, because I’m totally jealous of her creativity. See her work at Shatterboxx.com. Be sure to tell her how much you love her stuff!

If you could have any superpower, which would you choose?

I’d love to say x-ray vision, and talk about how cool it would be to see through people’s clothes, girl’s locker room walls, etc, but the truth is that I’ve always wanted to fly. It’s not as cool, obviously, but I would love to fly full speed through mountains and deserts and jungles and see everything that this planet has to offer. I can already do that on land with my motorcycle, but adding the dimension of altitude would make things so much cooler.

What field is your formal education in?

Biology, the study of life. I don’t know why I chose Biology, considering I’m an artist at heart, not a scientist. I think I enjoyed the challenge. Little did I know Biology was going to continue to challenge me even after school. How does it challenge me? You try getting a job with a bachelors degree in Biology.

What is your ideal vacation?

Laying on a tropical beach with a fruity drink, my gorgeous lady by my side in a skimpy bikini, watching the waves crawl to the shore and thinking about how awesome it is to be on this awesome beach instead of in my office writing an F.A.Q. for my personal website…

Which celebrity would you do?

Hands down, Eva Mendez.

If your life was a movie, what movie would it be?

Think Superbad meets Oceans 11. Then add a few robots and ninjas. Finally, top that off with about 47 naked chicks, of all different colors. That’s what movie my life would be. P.S. I’m still working on the script.

What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re all alone?

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not look at internet porn, although it does include just as much nudity. I like to turn the music up really loud, and sing and dance around my studio apartment, often with very little or no clothes on. I decided to get my apartment mostly to have this experience as often as I want. I pay rent. Don’t judge me.

What is the last thing you bought?

2 awesome jackets from Forever21 in Austin, Tx, as of Tuesday, February 16.

What song is most played on your MP3 Player as of late?

Dental Care -- Owl City (Listen to it below)

If you walked in to a room where everyone was wearing white, and you were wearing black, what would you do?

I’d walk to the first person that noticed me in the room and say “wow, white, huh? You obviously didn’t get the memo…”

When’s the last time you masturbated?

I like to think of life as one really long masturbation session, and in that regard, I’m doing it right now. Actually in any regard I’m doing it right now… I’m just kidding, I’m at work, and there’s a window into my office. Otherwise…

Want to ask a question? Click here.